(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })();

Friday, August 19, 2005

Zoom Zoom Zoom.....

Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerate her and some actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a man stepped out with his arm outstretched... "Stop!" he said in a firm voice "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a kit kat wrapper and held it up to him.
"OK" he said and she went on her way. Taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man stepped out in front of her, and shouted "Stop! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag and pulled out a beer coaster, held it up to him, and he allowed her to carry on. Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third man stepped out in front of her.... stark naked and holding a sizable erection in his hand. "Oh no!," said Ethel, "not the breathalyzer again!"

1 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home