(function() { (function(){function b(g){this.t={};this.tick=function(h,m,f){var n=void 0!=f?f:(new Date).getTime();this.t[h]=[n,m];if(void 0==f)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+h)}catch(q){}};this.getStartTickTime=function(){return this.t.start[0]};this.tick("start",null,g)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var p=0=c&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-c)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load; 0=c&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,c),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt",e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=b&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var k=!1;function l(){k||(k=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",l,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",l); })();

Monday, March 27, 2006

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.5

'Not an effective deterrent'

If you are a megalomaniac Super-Villain with a secret volcano base or a massive death-ray laser orbiting a giant space station and you happen to capture a British secret agent, order your guards to kill him at once.

DO NOT under any circumstance offer him a guided tour of the aforementioned establishment.

DON'T offer to discuss the details of your plan to overthrow the world with him over a dry Martini or a quick game of poker.

DO NOT leave him in the custody of a beautiful and scantily clad woman, no matter how trust worthy she may seem. Certainly do not leave the two of them in a well furnished apartment with a pull out bed of any kind.

Once you do kill him, do so by shooting him in the face. DO NOT lock him into a room that is slowly filling with water, throw him into a pit with a lion or strap him to a table while a giant saw swing ever closely to his midriff.

posted by puggsley1980 at Monday, March 27, 2006

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home