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Monday, March 27, 2006

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.5

'Not an effective deterrent'

If you are a megalomaniac Super-Villain with a secret volcano base or a massive death-ray laser orbiting a giant space station and you happen to capture a British secret agent, order your guards to kill him at once.

DO NOT under any circumstance offer him a guided tour of the aforementioned establishment.

DON'T offer to discuss the details of your plan to overthrow the world with him over a dry Martini or a quick game of poker.

DO NOT leave him in the custody of a beautiful and scantily clad woman, no matter how trust worthy she may seem. Certainly do not leave the two of them in a well furnished apartment with a pull out bed of any kind.

Once you do kill him, do so by shooting him in the face. DO NOT lock him into a room that is slowly filling with water, throw him into a pit with a lion or strap him to a table while a giant saw swing ever closely to his midriff.

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