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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Fuck You Shiela's Wheels!


Over the past couple of months when the weather has been particularly crappy I've been hitching a lift into work from Mrs. Grim, primarily because I've forsaken 4 wheels and banished cars from my ownership.

Often I find the need to amuse myself whilst on the log-jammed crappily phased traffic light junctions, to do so I tend to focus on how shit other people are at driving. This started innocently enough with, "oh look - that lady doesn't appear to know the dimensions of her vehicle and is tentatively creeping around the side of the bus with a 12-foot gap to her left stopping up all the traffic behind her" but quickly degenerated to me shouting "COCK-JOCKEY!!" and whinnying like a horse whilst bouncing up and down on my seat holding imaginary reigns.

Quite how this progression came about I'm not really sure, but I found it amusing - unlike my better half who scowls her displeasure at me.

Anyway I digress - an upshot of this is I make a "pretend" mark on the dashboard - one when a male driver does something particularly stupid, another when a female driver does the same.
The rules are - Mrs. Grim has to ignore my virtual galloping on the passenger seat and pass comment herself on the proficiency of the other cage pilot, I then note whether it's a lady or a chap.

Fact. Women are shit drivers - over a deeply scientific study of 2 months - women doing silly things on the road outweigh men 8 to 2.

Now it might just be that we happen to take a route that is heavily populated by women taking their little precious to school at that particular time in the chelsea tractor - but I'd like to think that we pass through a good slice of the daily commuting population confirming what most blokes have known for many years.

Fuck you Sheila's Wheels.

2 Comments:

  • Mate... you've not seen Aussie drivers! There's no such things as indicators, peripheral vision or stay left on the freeway cos you're holding up loads of cars who want to overtake you. And you wonder why theres so many accidents out here. I'll have to use the "COCK-JOCKEY" action myself next time!

    By Blogger Kimbo, at Wednesday, January 28, 2009  

  • Sheila's Wheels have fucked me off for ages, can you imagine the uproar if they had a man only insurance company??!! It's sexist i tell you and besides, shouldn't you all be in the kitchen making me a nice meal???

    By Blogger Puggsley1980, at Monday, February 02, 2009  

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