(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })();

Friday, November 25, 2005

New To Blogging

Check this site out...


Get 50 free credits and increase your blog traffic today.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Space Cadets


Watch out for this in December,
Think it's going to be good...
http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/S/spacecadets/

From what I hear they've picked a bunch with a similar mental capacity to Jane Goodie and convinced them that they're in space.
I heard that one at once they're invited to go on a space walk where only then they discover it's a studio and don't return - the last few crew are scared to go on a space walk - since nobody else has returned!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Should have checked before hand!!!

While enjoying a drink with a friend one night, this guy decides to try his luck with an attractive young girl sitting alone by the bar. To his surprise, she asks him to join her for a drink and eventually asks him if he'd like to come back to her place. The pair jump into a taxi and as soon as they get back to her house, they dive onto the bed and spend the night hard at it. She gives this fellow the best night of his life with great blowjobs, anal sex, titty sex, armpit sex... THE WORKS! Finally, the fellow is completely worn out, and he reaches for a cigarette from his jeans and searches for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asks the girl if she has one. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replies. Opening the drawer of the bedside table, he finds a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquires nervously. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" "No, I don't have a boyfriend," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Well, who is he then?!" demands the bewildered guy. She tells him, "That was me before the operation!"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Are you lonesome tonight?

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean £200?"

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Jive Bunny!!

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he asks. "That's cool," says Bobby. Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it." Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:"DAMMIT, DADDY! THE TWIST!! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"

Monday, November 14, 2005

FOR SALE!!!!

Dudes,

A friend of mine is selling a Palm Pilot and DVD writer that are both in really good condition if anyone is interested.

Palm Pilot £50

DVD Writer £45

Attached are a couple of photos to show what condition they're in, let meknow if you want more info or photos.

palmpilot.jpg (33kb)

dvdwriter.jpg (20kb)

Thanks

Jamal

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Phwoar!!!!

Two women are playing golf on a sunny afternoon when one of them slices her shot into a foursome of men. To her horror, one of the men collapses in agony with both hands in his crotch. She runs to him apologizing profusely, explaining that she is a physical therapist and can help ease his pain.
"No thanks... just give me a few minutes... I'll be fine..." he replies quietly with his hands still between his legs. Taking it upon herself to help the poor man, she gently undoes the front of his pant and starts massaging his genitals.
"Doesn't that feel better?" she asks.
"Well... yes... That feels pretty good," he admits. "But my thumb still hurts like hell."

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Does life really suck?

One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having conversation. The pickle says: "You know, my life really sucks! Whenever I get big, fat and juicy.... they sprinkle all seasoning over me and stick me in a jar." The cucumber says: "Yeah.. you think thats bad? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy.... they slice me up and put me over salad!" The penis says: "You think that your lives are tough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy and juicy.... they throw a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a dark, wet, smelly room and force me to do push ups until I throw up and lose consciousness!!"