(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })();

Friday, March 31, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

4 X 4

So I've been hurting since yesterday, in order to put my motorbike on it's overnight hidey hole, as I can't turn it around in the yard, I have to lift up the arse-end and scoot it around before getting it through the doorway.Click - back pulled... Pissed tbh - but got me thinking, surely we should still be running around on all fours, makes little sense to be constantly falling forward (think about it while you're walking), and let's face it - it'd be a lot better for several reasons...

Glass backs - if you didn't have to lift stuff up all the time, you wouldn't hurt yourself so much (yes you could do a "how to pick stuff up" course but no-one pays any attention to that anyways).
Disease - nature would bring infection out of your lungs if you're almost horizontal most of the time, this is why dogs can drink from puddles of urine and not die - probably.
Speed - all the fast land animals on the planet can generally get around at a greater rate of knots than we can apart from the possible exception of emu's and turtles.
Maybe there's something in this, but I can imagine the repercussions of suddenly deciding to whizz around on all fours (besides the quick if amusing fitting for a no-smoking jacket), and barring the fact that I don't necessarily want to drink from a puddle of urine, I can think of cool applications.Turnstiles wouldn't be a worry anymore - so it's into the togger/tube/insert place here for free. In fact if you did go to a sporting event on all fours (assuming you've not been fitted for the afore-mentioned no-smoking jacket) you might get to sit at the front of the crowds and get a stewards-eye view of the action (and chase the ball in half-time).Dinnertimes would be cool too, no longer would you be shackled by the need to use cutlery, just slobber it straight off the plate, making a total mess of things.Sexual contact - if there's no four-legged (genetically compatable you fecking retards) totty about, you can just reach over and service yourself without comment.

To be honest I'm just seeing win/win here.

Where are the Lions??

So, just where are the lions? I know it's a question that has always bugged me, so here is the answer. Make sure to check out the other toon's while you're there...

TJB quote of the day...

"The internet just goes to prove that an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters will achieve absolutely nothing. . ."

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Why are fire alarm bells red?

Grim's Word of the Day!

Fezzing....

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Do socks come with a built in smell from new?

Grim's Word of the Day!

Gopping.....

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Raining Death!!!

'Both BIG and Cleaver..!'

Yesterday whilst bored at work... I mean, in my own time at home.. I decided to use the good old T'internet to look up my old Territorial Army Regiment and see what they've been up to recently. Back then the 103rd Regiment Royal Artillery were an Air Defence regiment, with shoulder launched anti-aircraft missiles that were great for shooting down planes so long as it wasn't raining, foggy, overcast or misty. (In Britain, are you kidding me??)

Now look at what these crazy bastards get the play with!!! I had to sit in the rain for hours at a time pointing a f**king over sized bottle rocket at the sky and no sooner do I leave than this happens. At this moment in time they are raining death on insurgents in sunny Iraq (Or Eye-rack, as the Yankees call it). All from the safety of the neighbouring town!!

Some people get to have all the fun!!! AS90's for the MF win!!

Grim's Word of the Day!

Crackers.....

Paid to Poo Part Deux....

How about getting paid to poo... whilst on the move!!!!....
No need to stop off at a Service Station anymore to squeeze one out... Just park up in a lay by or as a matter of fact anywhere you want and let it rip!!! Uncle Booger... We salute you!!!!

Poo Poo Poo

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Nappies - My arse!

Talking babies for the lose.
You know the scenario, you're watching the ITV 10-o-clock movie, fecking adverts come on.
Nappies!

Why oh why oh why do they insist on having babies in the adverts - with grown up voices, not only that but grown up voices pretending to be kiddy voices telling us how dry these products are. I mean WTF?

Surely a grown up mother should be telling us how good at catching urine and fecal matter a product is, enabling her to get on with the other things a busy mother has to do rather than clean up her offspring's wee and pooh, it's a damn sight more believeable than adult-like rabbiting infants marauding across our TV screens half way through "The French Connection".
Even better still, put it on during the day, most stay at home parents are flicking off to Trisha (or whatever passes for daytime TV these days) anyway, so there'd be no harm done, everyone's happy and "Popeye" Doyle can safely continue to thwart evil drug smuggling Frenchies.

While on the same "advert" subject, anyone notice how the BBC now show up to 6 minutes of adverts per hour - for their own shit! Hang on you say - I'm already watching, and due to the "unique" way the BBC is funded, I thought we wouldn't have to suffer fecking adverts. So why do they advertise? Not enough of the archaic Radio Times being sold?

Volume.

I incidentally found myself whilst watching Sky TV muting the telly during fecking adverts - well, either that or suffer burst eardrums, is it supposed that I'll pay more attention to the product being flogged by the gogglebox if it's made (a lot) louder?

rawr!

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.6

'Nice place to die...'

This is a warning to people with any of the following skill sets...

...the ability to climb big mountains, an in-depth knowledge of dinosaurs, a history of decrypting ancient lost languages, a detailed biography of an obscure Russian General with far-right tendencies, the ability to drill big holes in ice faster than anyone else on earth or are an expert computer hacker...

...if you are approached by a mysterious man from a large multi-national corporation or a clandestine Government organisation, refuse any offer of aid/large sums of cash in return for a few days of your time on a expedition to a remote island location.

The next few days of your life will almost certainly involve a race against time to save the earth from utter destruction, foil a bank robbery/coup plot or save the life of yourself and your young family whilst simultaneously rescuing a bus full of hostages.

This is especially true if you are the third such expedition to be sent to the island, even though disaster stuck each of the other two. If the man funding the expedition uses the term '...most advanced equipment and technology money can buy...' run like fuck!

SAD BLOG OF THE WEEK

And This weeks SAD BLOG OF THE WEEK goes to

Finger Nail Fungus

All you ever wanted to know About that dreadded fingernail Fungus.

Random TJB Team Quoet

Grimster said...

"Do you ever get that feeling like your kidneys are falling through your back?"

WTF?

Lost in Translation?

A Japanese man walks into a currency exchange in Trafalgar Square and hands 10,000 yen over the counter. The woman smiles and hands him back £70. The following week, he again walks in and puts down 10,000 yen - but this time the teller only gives him £60.
"Why less this week?" he asks the teller.
The lady smiles and says, "Fluctuations".
The Japanese man storms out, and just before slamming the door, turns around and says, "Well fluc you Blittish, too".

BLOG NEWS - Channel 4 - 1 2 1 Blog

Channel 4 in UK has launched a site called 121 for fostering dialogue between paired sets of folks, one in the UK and one in another country. It's like a public penpal session written in blog format. For example, their first blog is written by Steve - a bloke from Coventry - and Mr. Behi who lives in Tehran.

"When you hear the word Africa do you reach for your wallet? Does the name Iran make you reach for your gun? 121 is a place for alternative takes on countries in and out of the news, an opportunity to go beyond the tired old tales and get a fresh story from everyday individuals.
121 is centred on international dialogues (using blog technology) between paired individuals with similar concerns from the UK and other countries."

Blatantly ripped from;

http://channel4.com/news/microsites/0-9/121/index.html

http://buzz.blogger.com/2006/03/channel-4s-121.html#links

Not my cup of tea but I'm sure some people out there will be interested...

Grim's Word of the Day!

Woot.....

Monday, March 27, 2006

Playboy Mouse

'Ever double click your mouse girls?'

Funny T-shirt FTW...

'Never a truer word said...'

Quack Quack....

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.
the landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".
"I see your eyes are working", replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.
"I see your ears are working", says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?".
"Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?".
"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town.
The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you?, I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!".
"Sounds marvellous", says the ringleader, "get him to give me a call".
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says,
"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!".
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus", says the landlord.
"The circus?", the duck enquires.
"That's right", replies the landlord.
"The circus?.
"Yes"
"That place with the big tent?".
"Yeah"
"With all the animals?".
"Of Course"
"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle", asks the duck.
"That's right!", says the landlord.
The duck looks confused. "What the f*ck would they want with a plasterer?".

Return of the Caption Contest

Since none of these other biatches have bothered, I'm gonna revive this one from the dead.

Winner of the contest gets stripped naked and rolled in a nettle patch.

Probably.

Worksafe Website?

Go on... be a devil...

#4

Phew!

Oh dear.

Remind me not to break into this guy's house...

Shooty Shooty Bang Bang

Important Health Bulletin

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.5

'Not an effective deterrent'

If you are a megalomaniac Super-Villain with a secret volcano base or a massive death-ray laser orbiting a giant space station and you happen to capture a British secret agent, order your guards to kill him at once.

DO NOT under any circumstance offer him a guided tour of the aforementioned establishment.

DON'T offer to discuss the details of your plan to overthrow the world with him over a dry Martini or a quick game of poker.

DO NOT leave him in the custody of a beautiful and scantily clad woman, no matter how trust worthy she may seem. Certainly do not leave the two of them in a well furnished apartment with a pull out bed of any kind.

Once you do kill him, do so by shooting him in the face. DO NOT lock him into a room that is slowly filling with water, throw him into a pit with a lion or strap him to a table while a giant saw swing ever closely to his midriff.

Grim's Word of the Day!

Fugglin....

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Random Rant


LOLerskates! Visit this guy's site NOW! Accidentally tripped over it whilst reading the Mr. Bump auction below, this fella's a genius.

Why you still here?

Go!

Grim's Word of the Day!

Keks....

Mr. F*cking Bump FTL!

OMGWTF are you thinking?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Hmmm... Manyog

Have you yet considered that the delicious youghourty drink that you might be taking in the morning might not be what you think it is? Yeah the adverts waffle on about how good Bifida this and culture that is for your (I feel like a house) stomach - have you thought that it might actually be a secret worldwide plot by the males of this planet to get you to drink semen?

Imagine if you will that there's so many men who's hetro partners just won't swallow the magical juice donated by their male other halves, what do you do? Of course, entice the ladies to get used to these products as a natural first thing drink full of the goodness you know you need in the morning. Enter stage left - MANYOG!

Full of the healthy tadpoley bacteria you know you need, and for just a few minutes work every day you too could be slurping down your own dose of this manly goodness.

Get yours today, chug MANYOG daily.

Hmmm Manyog!

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.4


'Anyone fitting this description should be shot on sight'
Scooby don't…

If you've just committed a major crime in a small back-road American town (which for some reason happens to have a large Museum containing lots of ancient and very valuable artefacts) and a Volkswagen Camper van pulls up containing 4 college drop outs and a Doberman, kill them all immediately!

DO NOT attempt to scare them off using fancy dress costumes and bad smoke and mirror effects.

DO NOT hide out in an abandoned mine or a closed down circus.

And absolutely under no circumstance seek them out and tell them all about the local ghost story down by the docks.

Just kill them all, soak the bodies in vodka and roll that f**king camper van into a ravine...

Mens Rules...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

  1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  3. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  5. Crying is blackmail.
  6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
  10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  11. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
  12. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  13. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
  14. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  15. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  16. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
  17. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  19. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  20. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
  22. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
  23. You have enough clothes.
  24. You have too many shoes.
  25. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
  26. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

Online gamer punished with virtual crucifixion

Controvesy anyone?

Banning online players for in-game offenses is common, but a new multiplayer game has gone a step further. Roma Victor, a game set in Roman-controlled Britain, has virtually crucified a player for killing other players repeatedly. Cynewulf, a character played by a Flint Michigan resident, will hang in a public square for seven days. Other players have been stopping by to watch and even taunt Cynewulf.

Bans are common in other games, like World of Warcraft, and can be as short as a few hours to a lifetime ban for very serious transgressions. Bans usually happen with little fanfare and other players may not be aware that any other player has done anything wrong. World of Warcraft even has a clause in their terms of service that prohibits players from discussing disciplinary actions.

Roma Victor recreates old Britain where people play virtual slaves and citizens in the Roman empire. The game will officially launch in July 2006.

Blatantly ripped from http://www.tgdaily.com

Grim's Word of the Day!

Skriking...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Sex Education

'Just so you know...'

Hmm Paid to


Pooh! That's right - following on from some office banter and short comments banded around on this very site, how amazing is that.

Picture yourself in a meeting with a new supplier, just as he's going into the technicalities of the latest routing technology, you suddenly feel the great desire to pinch one off.

Up you get, excuse yourself and off you trot - this is the initialisation phase, you've already started to make free money.

Next move is off to the crappers, down with the trolleys and OMGWTFBBQ - you're being paid to pooh! How fucking amazing is that - we have finally reached an enlightened age where an employer is paying you to plop a stinker in their thunderboxes.

Beats working for a living at any rate.

Paid to pooh is most definately for the win.

Girls Car?


'I'm not saying you have to be a big girl to drive a Cruiser, but it helps...'

Best double acts in showbiz?


Over the years there have been loads of classic double acts that we've all grown up with.
Take for example Cannon and Ball, Bert and Ernie, Torville and Dean, Bill and Monica... Okay so not that many spring immediately to mind, but my favourite? Chunk and Sloth from the Goonies. HEY YOU GUYS!!! Ain't that the shiznit.

OHNOES! Another Worksafe

To click or not to click?

#3

AGHHHHH!!!!!

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.3


If you work on a Star Ship of any kind and have recently been transferred to security, immediately resign. You are almost certain to have all of the Sodium chloride drained from your body, or to be vaporised into a greenish looking cloud within about 2 minutes of your first mission.

This is an especially certain outcome if your uniform is predominantly red.

Grim's Word of the Day!

Togger....

Bless You!!

A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.
Bear says: "if I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering with fear."
Lion says: "if I roar in the desert, the entire desert is afraid of me."
Chicken says: "Listen Guys I only have to cough, and the entire planet shit's itself!"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Stop Viruses in their tracks...



'As recommended by PC World Stockport'

The top-ten of top tens

OK, so here's the PC World Virus Checker top ten - admittedly I've not been into a PC World store for the best part of 10 years since I went to the Stockport branch of that establishment for a SCSI cable, only to be asked by the spotty irk wtf I was talking about (orientation training for the lose).

Check out #5 - any firm that can't spell veteran and picks Norton has issues...

PC World FTW!!111 (or not)

Legal piracy anyone?

France shoots it's load..

Microsoft redesigns the ipod box


An excellent piss take. Take one ordinary perfectly designed iPod box, Add one crazy ass Micro$haft design team and watch as the box disappears under the system requirements and small print...

So I'm sat here...

Still running fecking extracts for the current year-end audit when I should be enjoying some quality time with my corporation Hmmm... EvE

Having a look around on this and finds:

Nearly five million UK staff worked an average extra day a week in unpaid overtime in 2005, according to the TUC.

The union group estimated that if each employee worked all their unpaid overtime at the start of the year, they would not get paid until 24 February.

But its analysis of official labour statistics also found that the percentage of people working unpaid overtime was at its lowest since 1992.

Staff in small workplaces were least likely to work extra time without pay.

The TUC's analysis of the government's latest Labour Force Survey found that 4,759,000 workers, or 19.4% of employees, worked an average of 7 hours 24 minutes in unpaid overtime each week.

Londoners put in the longest hours, with those doing unpaid overtime putting in an extra 8 hours 12 minutes a week.

Extra effort

They were followed by workers in Wales (7 hours 48 minutes) and Northern Ireland (7 hours 36 minutes).


I'm like OMG!! The country would grind to a halt if everyone worked to rule. Maybe there should be a no-overtime day or something. Admittedly - those that do a lot of (paid) overtime actually rely on that to bump up their wages, but with the impending crackdown on the EU legislation on the working week (less the opt-out our wonderful 0_o government has brokered) this may also go down the pan, then will we see true figures of people living under the "poverty line", and you can bet your ass they ain't all gonna be unemployed.
Strikes me as backwards that in real terms, the unemployed are better off than the employed, almost as if it's a punishment going to work and trying to make something of yourself.

Is it me or does that seem wrong?

Latest phones...


'Latest Multi-Function Phones from Nokia'

More worksafe fun...

Just for you...

#2

Is it worksafe? Dare you click?

MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Romanes eunt domus?

Heh.....

Roman's ftw!

Not made in China!

"Components. American components, Russian Components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!"

Now we all know that quote from one of the most questionable movies of all time, the Deep Blue Hero flick "Armageddon"

So I was kicking around the web and found the following that made me LOL!

The application of "Not made in China", a trade mark that carries distinct trade discrimination has appeared on the official website of the EU's Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market.

As it is reported, Alvito Company registered in Gibraltar has filed its application for "not made in China" to the EU, which contained three parts, two graphic marks and one text mark. And EU has accepted their application on Dec. 2005, Jan. and Feb. 2006 respectively.

According to EU's trade mark law, EU will decide a year later whether it makes the application. If it decides to make it public, the announcement will be placed there for a period of three months. And if objection is put forward, the application will be approved. Once the application goes effective, "not made in China" trade market will be legal in EU's 25 member countries.

It is reported that Alvito Company has submitted its application for "not made in China" trade mark to the US last September, but was turned down.

The trade mark of "not made in China" is apparently an act of discrimination against Chinese articles. Since the trade mark is based on intangible asset, such a mark will bring negative impact on the reputation of China-made products.

Dong Baolin, chief representative of GATT intellectual property trade mark negotiation and former vice director of trade mark office of the State Administration for Industry and Commerce, noted that "not made in China" mark would disgrace China's national prestige and dignity. Any Chinese enterprises, citizens or government has the rights to raise objections to the EU. Such a trade mark that harms Sino-Europe diplomatic ties will not be tolerated.

Wu Xiaochen, an official from International Trade Mark Centre of China said that the application of "not made in China" actually has no impact on the sales of Chinese products in the international market, and it is more associated with national dignity.

Now - don't get me wrong, I recently bought (on e-bay I might add) a brand new motorbike that was indeed made in China and I've not died due to shoddy workmanship yet (more's the pity some might say) but admittedly I have so far had to replace 2 headlamp bulbs, a horn bracket, clutch cable and numberplate holder.

Perhaps all things are not made in Taiwan?

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.2

"Angel of Death"


If you find yourself on the Orient Express, a secluded hotel or a small village in Sussex and a famous detective turns up, leave immediately. Your chances of being horribly murdered while you sleep have just increased ten–fold.

Call a cab, steal a car or just run for the hills, because your future either involves being butchered or hearing the words ‘I suppose your all wondering why I called you here…’

Grim's Word of the Day!

SLART....

Rainbow's flying high!

According to a recent survey, "Rainbow" has been voted the UK's best kiddies program ever.

Do you agree with this? Drop us a line at TJB and let us know what you think.

Click here you idiot

What more do you want??

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Worksafe Website?

#1

This is trixie - is it worksafe or not? - click and your fate will be decided..

The Games?

Well, it appears to be that time of the year again, the next bunch of "carefully selected" chimps has been brought out and paraded in front of the cameras for our collective "entertainment". Ad nauseum, is it only me that hates this tripe?
It's a real shame, this kinda stuff is creating slack jawed drooling idiots of normally sane people, so you get to work and it's "OMG!!111one did you see what 'Mandy Lamb did last night, while she was picking her nose and slagging off another "insert celebrity (more on celebs later - it's a fave rant of mine) name here", it was f*cking amazing" Have our collective lives become so shallow that we have to both watch and then talk about this drivel?

All I can say to it is RAWR! and stab myself in the head with the whole pointlesness of it all.

At least make it interesting and let's see some naked quivering Mandy muff brushing the ice on the curling section.

Bah! Dropped back into type.

/me stabs self in head.

100 things not to do if you are a fictional character No.1

"Slow but effective"

If you find yourself running through a dark wooded area being steadily chased by a 2ft leprechaun or a stumbling zombie with a top speed of 3kph, don’t break a sweat by running.

Take it easy, have a smoke, enjoy the scenery, when the time comes for you to be slaughtered the horrible monster will unexplainably appear from behind a tree directly in front of you. So don’t worry about it…

More tips, coming soon...

People who need to be stabbed with a rusty spoon No.1


No.1 Bob Geldof
Do they know its Christmas time? NO! Mostly they are busy celebrating Ramadan mate, Google it. How can a man with a personal fortune of £30+million preach to people about third world poverty? Oh by the way Bob, how’s that PR Company working out for you? You know the one that had a £37million turn over in the same year you organised Live 8? Anyway, I’m glad you got that world hunger stuff sorted out, it was starting to get me down... Get back to saving them hobbits you $%&*!
More 'People who need to be stabbed with a rusty spoon' soon...

Product Recalls


Some important product recalls, spread the word!!

Grim's Word of the Day

Protuberance.....

Filthy Hobbitses!


This one made me LOL as I've not seen it before, if this is old news to you, tough.

Now all I need is a big stompy robot sign and I can die a happy man.

Stompy robots and wizard's sleeves ftw!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Fat Wallet



It seems you're all earning too much these days:

The average person's wallet or purse contains £12,316, according to a study.

It relates to the total of bank notes, coins and the value of credit or debit cards that we carry around. Men carry an average of £14,596, and women £10,035.

All I'm gonna say is "I F*cking wish!"


Another T-Shirt for the M.F.W.


Another classic T-Shirt from Thinkgeek

Google anyone??


Oh No!!! I knew that Google court order would come back to haunt me!!

Bible Sequel??

If there was a sequel to the Bible in todays Hollywood obsessed society, what do you think it would be called? Here are some ideas that the JammyBlog team came up with while bored at work. Post your own in the comments section.

Bible 2, Judgement Day (With a possibility for Bible 3, Rise of Our Lord)
Bible 2, Revenge of the Christ
Bible Reloaded
Bible Resurrection
Bible 0 (a low budget Japanese prequel)

I wonder if JC himself would be a demanding actor? Everyone on set must lower there heads when they speak to him and convert to his religion?? Mind you, once you worked with Tom Cruise you get used to it...

Funny T-shirts FTW



Here at TJB we love, love, love funny T-shirts. So if you know of any classics send us a link and we'll post it here with a link to your site!

Snake Eyes seeks...


Being a pervert isn't easy. People judge you. A good pervert is expected to be able to sniff out a darlin' and smoke out a smack-rat. It's a pressurised position where if you do well and can spot a cracker, then you can earn the respect of your peers and become a legend. And if you can actually pull while being a perv then the people, they call you Hero.

And so we come to TJB's new feature - "Snake Eyes seeks..." where on a three times a week-ish basis I'll be posting a pic of who's on my lips but sadly not on my hips. I have a gut feeling this may be a limited edition post if I get caught trawling Google for pictures of hot women. If I get the sack I'll post a link for donations to help pay the mortgage... Thank You kindly.
Tuesday's hotty is...

Lindsay Lohan
Since rising to fame in films such as the 'hilarious' Herbie Fully Loaded and riviting Mean Girls, this lass has been making us fellas rise to the occasion too! A browny-redhead, drug-fuelled rampant teen with a fat wallet who just lurrves letting it all hang out. With plenty of upskirts readily available on the net, this is a girl to keep your blinkers on for!
Snake Eyes.

The JammyBlog 2, this time its personal!!

We’re back boys and girls, bigger, badder and more randomly spurious than ever before. Here at TJB we’ve decided to increase the effort we’ve been putting into our content in an effort to amuse and bemuse. (And as much as possible, offend.)

We’ve decided to add some regular recurring features to the mêlée that is TJB’s content. Including our very own ‘Made up words of the week’ and ‘Work safe or not’ dare you click the link? We’ll also be trying out our new ‘Phrase of the day’ where we will post the most hilarious phrase to escape a contributor’s brain during the previous day.

No Celebrity is safe! We’ll be adding regular posts to the blog giving our opinions on the media’s latest whipping boys and girls. Is the latest bit of media totty a hot looking chick worth the cost of a B&B? Or an annoying tw** who needs to be stabbed to death with a rusty spoon? Never fear, TJB will reveal all!

We’ve added a new member to our contributions team, Grimster joins us on loan from Springfield Institute for the Mentally Special and promises to add his own unique brand of chaotic humour to the Blog.

So dust of that bookmark, there finally something other than porn on T’internet!!

Regards,
The JammyBlog Team

Grim's Word of the Day!

CLART.....

Monday, March 20, 2006

TellyBugs!!!


Anyone remember these little Teletubbie wannabes? I can remember watching them when I was knee high to something with really small knees but no one else seems to recall them, maybe because each episode ran for only 5 minutes. But I do recall it kicked ass, let us know if you remember it…

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Honey, I shrunk the kid!!!

Guess Who?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Thought of the day....

If money doesn't grow on trees... why do banks have branches???