(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })();

Friday, May 26, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day

Weetabix...

Things that make you go...Hmmmm...

If tin whistles are made of tin, what are foghorns made of?

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day

Puppies....

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Do cows have calf muscles?

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Grim's Words of the Day!

Beef and Curtains.......

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Dance like...... MC Hammer!!!

How many of these dance moves have you tried?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

Grim's Word of the Day!

Flaps....

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day!

Hum....

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day!

Amplify.....

Monday, May 15, 2006

Things that make you go..Hmmm....

What's the difference between fluff and dust?

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Puggs Word of the Day...

MINTYSPLIFF......

Friday, May 12, 2006

Flogging a Dead Horse...

Ah t'is the season!!! Big Brother will soon return to our screens and my TV will get a well deserved rest. But all is not lost...

A little game I like to play when its BB season is to fake conversations about it in work with various idiots. When I spot a BB conversation going on I drop in with a random comment like 'oh, is that the stuck up bird/fella?' Then you can throw in things like 'Mind you, I like him/her better that the gay/black one' and so on. You're usually safe with stuck up, slaggy, black, gay, northern, environmentalist, mouthy, lazy, fit, transgender and the one who's always getting her tits out.

See how long you can keep it up before they rumble on the fact that you don't watch the show.

New Caption Contest


OK, OK, I totally forgot about the last caption contest - but his one's a corker.

Best one wins a packet of dry Kimbo greb - come on - impress us with some inventiveness.

Rawrgle! Road Badness

/rant=ON

OK, it has to be said - PC or not - why the fuck can't women use roundabouts?

The UK has this roundabout fetish - because we drive on the left, you wait until the person coming from the right has passed you then you go - but what the hell - women don't seem to get it.

Manchester is a hive of mini roundabouts - when the council runs out of things to spend our council tax on - it orders speedbumps (to remove any front valance you might have on your vehicle - because they don't like them) and mini fecking roundabouts.

I 50/50 ride a motorcycle or car into work, the bike's OK, but people just pretend not to see you and don't understand that stopping a bike is a fuckload harder than stopping a car - sat behind Ms. Icantuseafeckingroundabout who starts off then stops half way onto the roundabout sucks - but that's another rant. Twice over the last couple of days I have witnessed two seperate women on two seperate roundabouts - sat stationary faffing around not knowing how a fecking roundabout works - and waiting for _anyone_ within 200 yards of the thing to first approach and then use the roundabout.

Don't get me wrong, there's some wicked women drivers out there - my wife for instance who appears to imagine she's one of the drivers in "The Italian Job" is fine behind the wheel.. or am I saying that so I don't get battered? You decide....

On another note...

Sheila's fecking wheels!

Imagine if you will, a bloke an a nationally transmitted advertisement saying:

Well, we all know women are shit drivers - so this is a men only insurance company - we don't want women calling because your driving's shit.

OMGWTFBBQ - they'd be in court before they could say sexual prejudice! WTF is going on - it seems men are now (in the name of PC) becoming the women of yesteryear - wtf happened to "Equality"? I'll be campaigning for "equal" rights whilst stood in the gutter so a peeler won't arrest me next!... probably
/rant=OFF

Thursday, May 11, 2006

A real worksafe website..

Or is it?

http://brad.com/prettybirdsnflowers.jpg

Dare yah!

BUHAHAHA! OK, this is a bit of a cheat judging by Kimbo's last - but what the fuck - it's not a pissing contest...

Not a lot of people know that....


I'm a self-confessed Eve-Online freak, I've been ingame for more than two and a half years now, but, a new era is dawning in the evolution of things in the form of Titan class ships.

Download from this linky (right click and download as - it's 50 odd meg - beware you sad dial-uppers) - Turn up your speakers for one of the best 2 minutes and 53 seconds of eye-candy ever! Oh - and by the way - yes that's ingame graphics... Yum!

Shameless plug - but so what?

Kickass Linky

Found this whilst a-trawling - sweet linky.......

Click Meh!

Bum Aspirations..

So anyway, Jammy get's pissed when I don't post to this thing, so I think today I'll make an effort.. We had an interesting conversation this afternoon in the office in respect of made-up words, usually by non-native English speaking persons, y'know stuff like Maximizeable and Ogglesblonks etc. which once again lead me onto a rant which in turn lead me to making up a silly word and example of it's use in a constructive sentence, this came out as:

"I was hit by a stray round from the cookie gun and got biscuitificated"

Yeah I know, it was a bit of a tumbleweed moment (http://www.prairietumbleweedfarm.com/) (Thanks to the pugmeister for that one - more in a minute).....

So the Pugmeister picks up the link above just after he'd told the crappiest joke of the year this morning, which got me to thinking about stuff like this in general - someone is selling tumbleweeds in Kansas, now, forgive me if I'm wrong - but this is stuff that just floats around anyway right, also puts me in mind of the person in California I think that was selling dessicated dogshit - yeah baby - send your nearest and dearest some canine guano for kicks - but I digress, was thinking about stuff that's free - that I could sell...

I mean sure, you can lie about the origins of something (check out 99.9% of autograph dealers on e-bay) but there's at least a small risk to doing so, even with dogshit you run the risk of catching roundworm and going blind (incidentally - this apparently happens to between 750 and 1500 kids per year - dog owners need to learn that they should clean their pets shit up to be honest - either that or kids shouldn't use dogshit as modeling clay) - so what's foolproof?

There was a guy that used to sell Tesco carrier bags as kites - that kind of thing... no output and little work required, you know the ticket.

Answers on a postcard.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Time for another Worksafe website!

Can you resist the click of your mouse button???

#6

Beware!!!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?