(function() { (function(){function c(a){this.t={};this.tick=function(a,c,b){var d=void 0!=b?b:(new Date).getTime();this.t[a]=[d,c];if(void 0==b)try{window.console.timeStamp("CSI/"+a)}catch(l){}};this.tick("start",null,a)}var a;if(window.performance)var e=(a=window.performance.timing)&&a.responseStart;var h=0=b&&(window.jstiming.srt=e-b)}if(a){var d=window.jstiming.load;0=b&&(d.tick("_wtsrt",void 0,b),d.tick("wtsrt_","_wtsrt", e),d.tick("tbsd_","wtsrt_"))}try{a=null,window.chrome&&window.chrome.csi&&(a=Math.floor(window.chrome.csi().pageT),d&&0=c&&window.jstiming.load.tick("aft")};var f=!1;function g(){f||(f=!0,window.jstiming.load.tick("firstScrollTime"))}window.addEventListener?window.addEventListener("scroll",g,!1):window.attachEvent("onscroll",g); })();

Friday, April 28, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day!

Schlong.......

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Grim's Word of the Day!

Soggyness....

Look - a - likes!

Jens Lehmann of Arsenal FC.



David 'Big in Germany' Hasselhoff.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

May the 4th be with you...

On Wednesday 4th May, at two minutes and three seconds after
1.00 o'clock in the morning, the time and date will be:
01:02:03: 04/05/06.


This will never happen again apparently?

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Things that make you go....... RAWRRRRR!!!!

"Thundercats......"

Can you remember these heros and villains of the past?
Lion-O, Panthro, Tygram Cheetara, WillyKit, WillyKat, Snarf, Jaga, Claudis, Kano, Snarfer, Mumm-Ra, Ma Mutt, PummRa, Driller, Ancient Spirits, Mirror Wraith, S-S-Slithe, Monkian, Jackalman, Vultureman, Plundarian Warbot, Ratar-O.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

If you take a shower, where do you put it?

Friday, April 14, 2006

Things that make you go....... RAWRRRRR!!!!

"Bird Poo!"

Whilst driving to work this morning, I saw a number of birds were circling cars stopped at traffic lights. They seemed to be taking aim for where there shit should land! Willy Nilly pooing for the lose!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Things that make you go....... RAWRRRRR!!!!

"Drivers who do not indicate to turn....."

Is it me or do BMW cars not come with indicators? Who do they think they are!!! Black Mans Willy??? Blind Moron Wankers more like who should not be allowed on the road!!!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Girl Power?

The Truth....

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Bird flu.... Pah!!


With all the hoo har about bird flu I thought I'd drop a quick note to blogland just to let everyone know there's a cure so there's no need to worry about buying yourself a Michael Jackson styleeeee oxygen tent or one of those silly face masks favoured by the Asia Pacific populations..

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Things that make you go Hmmmm...??

Why would you train porpoises to answer phones? How come every time your ring up a call centre they tell you that they may record the conversation for 'training porpoises'?? What can a porpoise do that a human can't? Answer phones under water?

And another thing, who are these 'Security porpoises' and what do these creatures want with images of me in the server room? 'Images recorded for Security Porpoises'?? Little dolphins in yellow jackets and black hats watching me work...???

Who are these 'backup porpoises'? Is there some kind of underwater A-team running about driving transit vans and getting locked in garages full of tools and an old tractor?

Sounds like a Mafia syndicate to me if ever I heard of one. It's madness I tells you... Madness...!!!

JAMMY NEWS - Donkeys V's Women

A new school textbook in India has kicked up a storm by comparing housewives to donkeys - and saying donkeys make better companions.

The new book has been written for 14-year-old schoolchildren in the western state of Rajasthan.
Part of the book says: "A donkey is like a housewife.
"In fact, the donkey is a shade better, for while the housewife may sometimes complain and walk off to her parents' home, you'll never catch the donkey being disloyal to his master."

The book was approved by the state's Hindu nationalist Bharatiya Janata Party government but has sparked complaints from its women's wing.

State education officials in Rajasthan, which is known for its conservative attitude to women, said people should not be upset at the comparison.

If your interested in getting your own donkey to see for your self visit http://www.freehorseads.com/class/miniaturedonkey.html

You can pick one up quite cheep!!!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Yep - it's worksafe time..

Yeah I know biatches, it's been a few days but...

OHNOES! - I'm so unsure about this one....

#5

Is it worksafe or is it just plain odd? You decide...

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Where did the people who run the DeathStar learn to run the DeathStar ? Did they go to DeathStar School?

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

Who decided that PC keyboard plugs should be purple?

Grim's Word of the Day!

Chuddy.....

Monday, April 03, 2006

Things that make you go....... RAWRRRRR!!!!

Godzilla...... and Godzuki!!!

Just in case you forgot who they are, check them out in action with some other superhero's

Grim's Word of the Day!

Tricksie.....

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Paid to poo to the next level

OK, so I seem to be the only jammy member that's sad enough to be blogging at weekend (Sorry Kimbo, missed your Grimsters word of the day earlier) when I should be chilling out.. Well, the second bottle of Jacobs Creek that's open certainly confirms I'm chilling out...

Well, we're all familiar with the grimsters "paid to poo". I mean you can't beat the elegance of being paid to poo.. For the M***** F***** Win.... Well, todays blogs come from one of the oddest locations I'm sure anyone has blogged from..... "Blog from the bog".. Yep, the joys of a wireless PDA... Personal Data Assistant, you could argue that it's a Personal Dump Assistant or a Poo Data Assistant..., or a Personal Data Anu.... no that's enough....

Of course we're going to throw poo at them..

Monkey Flings Poo by Thinking


Durham, NC | Researchers at Duke University have taught a lab monkey to control the movement of a robotic arm, using only signals from its brain.

The monkey's immediate utilization of this new skill was to shower a group of neurobiologists with feces, according to the report by lead researcher Miguel Nicolelis.

The Duke project is the first to demonstrate that a brain can learn to control signals from implanted microelectrodes, without any corresponding muscle movement.

Success was sudden and unexpected, said Dr. Nicolelis. "We had no idea kinetic skills would develop so quickly. One moment we were having lunch in the lab, the next moment we were covered with monkey shit."

The results have raised hopes that humans might one day be able to control complex devices with their minds. The experiment's direction will be altered slightly to focus on more productive lower primate behavior.

Nicolelis said future tests would include riding a unicycle, stealing bananas, lighting cigarettes, painting abstract designs while wearing a beret, and hands-free auto-erotic stimulation.

#####################

Ha Ha, the wonders of modern technology..

FAMILY FORTUNES CLASSICS

1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede
Moon
3) Name the capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A
burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental
Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers?
A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine?
A bicycle with
wings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something red? My sweater

Grim's Word of the Day!

Horrendous.....

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Things that make you go..hmmmmm....

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it.. Does it make a sound?

Is it just me, or is this one of the freakiest adverts on TV at the moment?

This kiddywink grown-up thing is disturbing and bears a remarkable resemblence to one of the Jammy teams "work mates"... (You know who I mean lads.. Think P-Touch)

I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on it but there's just something unnerving about a baby looking adult acting creature..

Grim's Word of the Day!

Gipping....